Operation: Doggone

Today I am making my first hooman debut. So, perk up your ears and listen to me, Max. First, here’s my online profile for you to pass on to any lady dog friends.

Now that that’s outta the way, I have some tips for all the dogs out there that want to get rid of those pesky things our hoomans talk to and play on that eat up ALL our hooman time. My hooman has been taken over by a little rectangular box that lights up and makes way too much noise- she even talks to it like there’s someone inside! There’s only room for one in her life...and it’s going to be me!  I’ve decided they need our help to destroy them because they can’t get rid of it alone. So here’s my intervention/rescue plan.

Step 1: Lay on hooman’s lap and arms so they will focus on me only and put down the small, light up,rectangular box.

Step 2: After getting hooman’s attention, must distract hooman. I made a mess in the back yard to do that.

Step 3: AVOID JAIL! Must look ashamed and guilty so hooman does not put me in doggy jail while cleaning up.

Step 4: Sneak into living room and grab boxy thing.

Step 5: Push it into couch cushions and hope the couch will eat it before hooman comes back.

Step 5: Push it into couch cushions and hope the couch will eat it before hooman comes back.

Step 6: Get back before hooman notices I was gone.

Step 7: Enjoy all my hooman’s time and get treats for saving them from the awful noise making box.

This plan will be a success. Let me know how you defeated your hooman’s boxy thing at max@cypressmag.com

* Remember electronics take away your dog’s hooman time. Unplug and give your furry friend a well deserved belly rub.